#48 - My Birthday Thus Far

When I was young I never really thought much about life in my 40's.

I had some vague notions of being a published author and living a cozy life with a Hubby and child to dote over.

But, you know... never put a heck of a lot of thought into it.

I am 44 today.

A palindrome year.

And now I am officially older than my best gal pal, Ellen. She died last autumn of ovarian cancer.
I miss her everyday. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I laugh, and every now and then I still scold her.

Like today.

She was always supposed to be the one who was a few months older than me.

Damn it, Ellen.

I think a lot about her right now. We hit the one year anniversary of her dying...

and when someone that close to you dies...

trust me the shock doesn't even begin to wear off until the first anniversary bounces on by.

I keep thinking of picking up the phone to chat with her.

Heck, I even miss our bickering.

It's her fault that I'm blogging.

She would not stop pestering me about it.

"Have you read my blog?"

"Did you start Winga's blog?"

"Blog?Blog? Blog?"

So I did start a blog just to get her to shut up about it...

and well, she had cancer..

you do things less grudgingly when someone you love has cancer.

So everytime I blog away...

I feel closer to her.

And in honor of Ellen's free spirited ways...

I had Oreo cookies and coffee for breakfast.

Mom came by...

in time to catch me with Oreo crumbs all over my face, in my mismatched fuzzy clothes with the kitty socks, watching reruns on television.

She brought me flowers and sweets.

I swear I am going to put myself into a diabetic coma!

She kept telling me not to tell her how old I am.

I am the "Baby" of 7 girls.

So I make everyone feel old.

Must have slipped because I told my 81 year old mother this morning that I am now 44.

"I'm so sorry Mom... so sorry about that."

My Mom is tough.

She can take it.

She is my hero.

After that visit, I danced around the kitchen singing to myself and have been playing on the computer ever since.


Rather liberating it is.

Oh!

I got TWO letters from our sponsor child today!

He lives in Thailand and I just love hearing from him.

The post is screwy though. It takes months to send a letter to him and hear back again.
The poor kid was sick and in hospital in July. I wish I had known!

He wants us to come visit his village and his family.

And we so want to go.

Damn.

I need to get rid of this stinking lupus. I'm not even supposed to be around people, let alone leave the country.

(The drugs knock out my immune system).

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Whiner rama bama.

Heck... I'm old.

I get to do what I want.

What I REALLY want is to feel good enough for the next few hours to have fun with Little Bear and Hubby.

They have a ton of little packages wrapped for me, they ordered a cake (MORE SUGAR!) and I know Little Bear is going to be running around the Cozy Cottage today doing his version of decorating.

Well, the bus should be pulling up in just a moment.

Gotta go!

Oh!

postscript:

If you can afford $25 a month... please consider sponsoring a child. The need is intense and they actually do an incredible job with your support.

Christian Children's Fund